Mansa Musa Visits Cairo: Composition Essay

For term two our class has started a new book in history class. It is called Mansa Musa and the Empire of Mali by P. James Oliver. The book is about the medieval African empire of Mali and about the emperor, Kankan Musa. As it follows the Mansa’s story the book gives detailed descriptions of the African landscape and political standing in the medieval era. 

In composition class we have been studying writing styles. This week I was given an assignment to use an old narration from any class and rewrite it in the style of an author that I like. I chose a history narration about Mansa Musa. Below I have given you both essays, the first is the original narration and the second is the altered one. See if you can tell what author I based my second writing off of.

Twelve years after he became the Emperor of Mali Mansa Musa decided to take a journey to Mecca. It was a long and hard journey but he was willing to take it because it was a journey that every muslim needed to take at least once in their life. Mansa Musa left Mali with a huge caravan. The first leg of the trip was through the Sahara desert and they needed to have a large supply of food and water in order to survive. Mansa Musa used camels to travel because (although they moved slowly) they could last weeks without water and they could endure the desert heat. 

 As he traveled Mansa Musa enjoyed seeing a variety of landscapes and animals that were new to him. He was amazed by the huge elephants, majestic lions, and beautiful giraffes. When his caravan finally made it across the desert they stopped in the city of Cairo. He was just as amazed by the variety of languages, clothing, and people as he had been by the Sahara. 

 The people of Cairo welcomed him warmly. They had never seen a caravan as large or beautiful as his and his extreme generosity made him a popular visiter. He was so generous in fact that the gold price in Cairo dropped dramatically for the next twelve years after his stay.

Mansa Musa was on a journey to Mecca. He had been traveling for months now and was starting to think that this had not been such a great plan afterall. He had dreamed of taking this trip all of his life. It was a journey that he believed all muslims needed to take at least once in their life. And he had known it would be difficult, hadn't he. But at this moment with the sun, the hot white Sahara sun, beating on his head, his sore legs aching, and his throat dry from the lack of water, it was hard to remember why he was here. 

To try to keep himself from thinking about the pain in his legs, or throat, or head for that matter, he tried to remember the excitement that he had felt for the first few weeks of the journey. Then, he had been curious to see the world, the world outside Mecca, and he had been interested in every new plant and animal that their caravan had passed. He was amazed by the huge elephants, the majestic lions, and the beautiful giraffes. But soon the landscape became repetitive and the heat became oppressive.

Mansa Musa looked up. There was a disturbance among the servants ahead of him. He overheard only bits and pieces.

“Water.”

 “Food.”

 “Cairo.”

 Mansa Musa strained his eyes to see what everyone was looking at. Nothing. Wait no, there was something. A sliver of color along the horizon. It was Cairo. Reaching the city of Cairo meant that they had reached the end of the Sahara desert. Mansa Musa smiled. Cairo was a wealthy city. They would be able to rest and stock up on provisions for the rest of the journey. No, the journey was not over but they had made it through the most difficult part.

Writing style was inspired by Gary Paulsen, author of Hatchet.